This report presents the findings of the evaluation of Positively UK’s Gay & Bisexual Men’s Project, our project to empower gay and bisexual men to achieve effective self-management and independent living with HIV. The evaluation was carried out at the end of year two of the three-year project, and was informed by quantitative and qualitative data.
Since I started treatment and got to undetectable I’ve felt a lot better about meeting guys and having sex again. But because I know I’m not infectious, I’m not sure whether I need to tell them about my HIV. What do you think?
Since my diagnosis in the summer, I’ve told one or two close friends but am finding it hard to be more open about my status and haven’t told my family yet. I’m going home to see them at Christmas and would like them to know but am worried how they’ll react. What shall I do?
I started HIV treatment a few months ago, and my viral load has just become undetectable. I know this is good news and that there is now virtually no risk of passing on the virus, but I still feel anxious about it and how it will affect my sex life and relationships. Can you help?
I moved to this country approximately 6 years ago and work as a nurse for the NHS in a very prestigious London hospital. I have lived most of this time in south west London where a big part of the gay community use drugs or ‘chemsex’ as a way of meeting people and having some fun. I went down that path where I would take some drugs and go looking for sex in saunas, at sex parties – I did it all.
Treatment brought few side effects, just some mild tiredness and nausea if I took it without food. It's all about planning. In just over 3 weeks I was undetectable. I felt free; my fears of transmitting were gone – My fear of dating and disclosing not so much so. I dreaded having to disclose my status to people and what their reactions would be. It wasn't long however until I found my resilience.
If I say the word: Sex, don’t be scared AT ALL. The gay community knows about HIV very well, and most of them are not afraid to have good sex with people with HIV. What I do, if I see like I’m going to have sex with someone, I feel free to say, I’m HIV positive. I prefer be honest from the start so as not to have surprises later or maybe make the other person uncomfortable.
Being diagnosed has had a big impact – a positive (no pun!) impact. I do a fair amount of voluntary work in the HIV sector and I became Chair of the Disability Staff network at work. It has given me something useful and constructive to do and it has brought me into contact with so many wonderful, inspirational people, that I would never have come across before.