Testing Positive: Jill’s Story

Monday, November 23rd, 2015 in Personal Stories - Women, Testing Positive

Women living with HIV

Testing Positive

A main barrier to some people taking an HIV test is fear of a positive result and the impact it might have on their lives.

In support of National HIV testing week 21st – 28th November 2015, Positively UK aims to remove the fear of testing and worry of a positive result.

During national testing week we will be sharing the stories of seven men and women who have had the HIV test and received a positive diagnosis.

We hope this diverse range of experiences will reduce the anxiety some people may have about testing and will enable those who may test HIV positive to seek support to live well with HIV.

Jill’s Story

I was tested for HIV as part of routine antenatal blood tests during my first trimester of pregnancy in September 2011.

When I got the result I felt confused, my husband had told me he was negative and I had no reason to think otherwise. I felt fear, not initially for myself, but for my unborn child. I felt anger and also a sense of grief. I thought why me?

I contacted Positively UK the day after I was diagnosed as I wanted to speak to another woman who was positive and if possible someone who had gone through a pregnancy with HIV. I also got in touch with my local HIV support charity, though this wasn’t something that I really embraced as I didn’t feel connected. I cried, and I asked my husband a lot of questions.

I also just carried on with my life.

I’m a researcher who already had a solid understanding about HIV, and this knowledge helped get me through. My friends and my family really helped me too, but I mainly coped with my strength of character and a ‘fuck you’ attitude.

When I was first diagnosed, even with my knowledge base, I was devastated and since then I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there had numerous ups and downs. However, to cut a long story short, here and now in November 2015, I’m doing great, actually amazing. I’ve an undetectable viral load, and that for me feels like I’ve won the lottery, not that I’ve ever won the lottery, but you get what I mean. My daughter was born healthy.

I’ve moved on from my husband because he wasn’t supportive of my needs. I’m now in a relationship with someone who is negative. Go figure. Instead of being outside looking in on the HIV community I’m now actively involved and have recently been appointed to the board of trustees for the Terrance Higgins Trust. Basically I’ve embraced my status and I intend to live a long and productive life and do everything that I can to educated and support not only people who are living with HIV, but also the general public.

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